she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
