singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
