i may or may not be watching the land before time
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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