My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Randomize
