Where is the hickey?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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