Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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