the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
