Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
