Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
