So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
