She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i out mim tonsoeep
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