What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
