I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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