Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
