Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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