Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
