Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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