I wish I could teleport
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
