she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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