woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
