My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
