I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
