barbara walters just said penis...
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
