I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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