Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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