Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
