Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
