I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
