I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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