I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So I just went to clothing optional bar
last night I used snow as a chaser
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
