Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
