Umm I'm too high to move.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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