i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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