she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
