I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
