Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
love makes seman taste better
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
