I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
