I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
