I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
