This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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