It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
