He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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