East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
