i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
