Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
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