so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
