At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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