wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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