I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
