This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
