Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
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